Thanks to the friendly girl who had been just the right size, who was now stuffed in a jefferies tube, the uniform helped Natalie blend in to the environment perfectly. Nobody batted an eyelid as she marched purposefully through the connecting corridor from Deep Space 5 to the Enterprise.

Thanks to the interior designers at Starfleet HQ, the sameness of the ship meant she got lost quite quickly, but after three rounds of deck six she realised that her goal was near.

Thanks to the complete failure of her physical strength, pulling the plating off the wall was more difficult than anticipated, but she eventually managed it, sending a crewman concerned for the blood vessels in her neck away when he offered to help. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she got to work, pulling the hyperspanner from her toolbox and hovering it over the complex circuitry. Just in time, too, as she heard voices coming down the corridor.

Ahead, two figures strolled toward her. One was very odd looking indeed, pale opalescent skin and golden eyes, and, she heard as they neared, a particularly pedantic way of speaking. Of course, the android, commander Data. And the other completely unremarkable except for the fact that he was wearing no trousers to his uniform, only a pair of dance tights.

This did not seem to bother either of them. However her stare did, and she quickly brought her gaze upwards. Crumbs! Picard!

“Is there a problem, leiutenant?”

“Um well um no, sir!” She managed. “It’s just… are you aware that…” His stern gaze quelled her into silence. “Um. Nevermind, sir.”

“As you were.” He said, turning back, and she breathed a sign of relief. But no! He was looking back!

“What exactly are you doing, lieutenant?”

Overcoming her nervousness, she launched into her  . “Circuit Board maintenance sir! As you can see there-“

She looked back at her panel, and realised that at some point since she last looked, her hyperspanner had turned into a rubber duck.

“-is absolutely nothing wrong here!” She finished, shoving the duck into the panel and lifting the plating back on top of it. “I’ll just be getting back to engineering, now…”

“Lieutenant.” She froze several steps away and slowly turned around.

“Sir?”

“When you get there please tell Commander LeForge that there are still too many kittens on the bridge.”

“Yes sir.” She said, turning back and beginning a power-walk up the corridor, as fast as she could go without actually running. As she went she bit her lip, pondering how to appropriate another hyperspanner without anyone noticing. Unfortunately just as she resolved to try the old ‘what’s over THERE?’ routine in Engineering and pinch someone else’s, a cry sounded from down a connecting corridor.

“The intruder!”

A Klingon and three security officers were chasing her. She ran.

She didn’t get very far, having little legs. Lifted several inches off the floor by the officers that held each upper arm captive, she decided to enjoy the ride. At least Federation jail cells had heating and regular meals.

“How did you find me?” She asked. The officer on her left, possessed of very curly red hair, snorted.

“Your tail, stupid.”

“My tail?” There was indeed a long, sinuous, forked tail attached to her rear. “Oh, I had forgotten about that.”

I think there was an orgy next, but I will spare you. I woke with a start and had to check that I didn’t have a tail. This was the first of a series of dreams of Picard in tights.