Frankly, it was not surprising that the male population of Camp Khitomer did not shower frequently. The fact that the entire male half of the house was assigned only one shower was not the issue- the female half had the same problem but their shower was nearly constantly in use. The problem was that on our way to the boy’s shower to steal it after getting fed up waiting for our own to become free, Claire and I had to pick our way over huge piles of junk. Junk covered in dust that didn’t appear to have been moved for months.

“Ew.”

I quite agreed with Claire’s pronouncement. It WAS disgusting. After showering, just stepping back into the room would make you feel the need to wash again. But it was still better than nothing, and as agreed I perched on a moulding, dusty chair while Claire stepped into the shower cubicle. After 10 minutes, my suspicions upon seeing the room that a sentry would not be needed were proved correct, and Claire and I swapped over.

I had just begun scrubbing the dirt from the pervious day’s excursions from my shins when Claire tugged on the shower curtain. “Psst!” She hissed, and I stuck my head into the cold, musty air.

“What?” She pointed ahead and I looked up just in time to see Joe shuffle into the doorway. Joe was the caretaker of the house, a tall, incredibly skinny and gaunt-looking man who didn’t seem to pick up the energy to move faster than a lopsided, shuffling walk. I would have had Words with him about the state of the bathroom if he were anyone else (and I wasn’t naked) but as soon as I looked at his pathetically ill-looking frame I relented. “Oh, er! Hi, Joe.”

He looked at us both, then shook his head, slowly, and shuffled away. He probably didn’t have the energy to tell us off for being in the wrong part of the house. That done I ducked back into the shower and continued my ablutions.

Not more than three minutes further passed before an asthmatic-sounding crackle signalled the speakers were on. Students, I need you to listen very carefully. That was Yoda’s voice! I turned off the running water to hear him better. And whatever you do, DON’T PANIC.

I need everyone to gather in the main hall. We are going for a walk. But do not run. Do not panic. Everything is normal. You have ten minutes to gather in the hall. Those who do not make it will be left behind.

My shower cruelly cut short, I pulled my towel off the rail and dried myself roughly. “What do you think that’s about?” I asked Claire.

“Dunno.” She replied. “But we’d better hurry.”

I pulled my knickers and t-shirt on for decency then pulled the curtain open.

And screamed.

Claire, in the five minutes I hadn’t been watching her, had somehow aged. Her face was skeletal, all cheekbones and huge eyes, and a sickly shade of grey. “What?” She asked, clearly disturbed by my reaction.

“I… you… the…” She felt normal obviously. Best not to make her worry. “Nothing. C’mon, we’d better go to the hall.” If everyone was there the nurse would be there. I grasped her wrist, trying not to wince at the feel of it beneath my fingers, and set off toward the door.

I joined the stream of students making their way to the hall as instructed, giving a few death glares when they pointed out that in my panic over Claire’s appearance I had forgotten to put on the rest of my clothes.

The camp leaders, Yoda and Dumbledore, were in the main hall already, looking grave. I pushed to the front of the crowd, still towing Claire whose legs seemed to have slowed down greatly. Poor girl, she must be really ill. As I elbowed and shoved my way to the front they began to speak.

“Our explanation must be brief. We have sent the house staff out to tend the gardens, because they must not hear what we are about to say.” The crowd waited with bated breath while Dumbledore paused, the tension weighing so heavily I actually began to develop a headache. “They are zombies.”

I was not the only one who spluttered in disbelief.

“I realise that this may seem unbelievable to you. But it is the truth. In fact the entire village is populated by zombies. You may have noticed that they are quite unusual.”

Actually, I had noticed on our walks through the village that all the natives seemed to be ill. Sickeningly thin and frail, with strange lurching walks…

“Luckily for us they do not seem to have realised this yet. We must be very careful. If they realise we are differently they will attack us, and turn us into zombies ourselves.”

I looked at Claire. She looked at me, tears welling in her impossibly huge eyes and running down her dull, wasted skin. “Oh…” I said. What else can you say?

Dumbledore had noticed out exchange and was now beckoning to Claire, who climbed shakily up onto the podium next to him. I was hoping for a cure when he raised his wand- Claire smiled too. And then there was a bang and a shower of sparks and she was on the floor, a hole all the way through her head.

***

I calmed down eventually. Yoda put me in charge of a group of the younger students. Our mission was to walk through the village to the plane hangar, without attracting attention. No running, we had to keep to a slow pace so as not to attract the attention of the villagers. Zombies. Whatever. No acting too lively- lively! As in alive!- no laughing, no dancing, no moving too fluidly.

I had questioned whether a group of ten year olds would understand the importance of this, but whatever Yoda had told them had scared them witless, and they walked behind me sombrely without complaint.

When we reached the village we were joined by Maude. Maude supplied the house with treats for the children, as she ran the sweetshop. She greeted us jovially as she shuffled over. Now that I knew what was wrong with her it seemed obvious. Her flat, dull skin hung from her bony face and her breath reeked of something I didn’t even want to think about.

“Hello kiddiewinks!”

With a sharp glare from me they chorused back a greeting although it sounded less than sincere. I distracted her myself. “Hello Maude. How’s Sooty?” Sooty was her cat. Who for as long as I could remember had been absolutely terrified of his owner.

“Oh he’s hiding under the sink as usual, the rascal.” Her chuckle grated. “I’ll try tempting him out with some treats later. Oh look! There’s Pat! Hello Pat! The children are on a walk!”

Within five minutes they were surrounded by cheery zombies. One was trying to show the children how to play conkers. The children were not co-operating.

“I don’t want to be rude, my dear…” Maude asked, eyeing me up and down, “But you appear to have forgotten to put on half of your clothes.”

“Oh!” I said, “I was in a bit of a hurry getting dressed.”

And that was it. Everyone seemed to pause for a minute, heads drooping. “Maude?” I asked. She snapped upright, but the look on her face was no longer than of a kindly old lady. “Oh… shit.”

“Ummmm!” Said Jacob behind me. “You said a bad word-“

I made him shut up by jerking sharply on his arm. The hangar wasn’t far away. I could probably make it if I ran, but the children’s legs weren’t as long as mine. I shoved them in front of me and instructed them to leg it to the hangar.

The zombies- they weren’t the townsfolk anymore, their mouths dripped with foaming venom and they were advancing on me with determination- eyed me as I stood in front of them, scrabbling for my wand. Damn my wand was in my pocket- and my pocket was still in the bathroom. Pat was right in front of me. I put my hands on her shoulders and gave her a shove.

The line of zombies went down like dominoes. I took the opportunity to turn and run. I caught up with the boys when they arrived at the hanger, and we stood outside it for a moment, panting. “It’s all right,” I said, wiping my face and then their tears of terror. “We’re here now.”

The plane itself was a peculiar model. It worked because of magic rather than physics, and always reminded me of those weird buses that are connected in the middle. There was a carried for the students at the back, connected to the cockpit at the front. The boys scrambled into their seats with the rest of their classmates and I climbed into the front with the pilot. Apparently I was the only group leader that had made it.

I pulled my seat belt on just as the banging started up on the door. “That must be them.” I told the pilot. “We have to go.”

And then I started to cry.

**

I don’t know where we were exactly when I noticed that the cockpit smelled a bit odd. I wiped my stinging eyes with the back of my wrist and raised my head, casually.

I could see the side of the pilot’s head, his attention focused directly ahead of him. Oh… he was one of them. He hadn’t been when I got in… I looked past him at the co-pilot, who was regarding me with fevered eyes and his foam-flecked mouth hanging open. He hadn’t figured out his seat belt yet or he’d have got me.

I looked up at the panel of switches above me. Then, casually raising my arms as I yawned, I flicked the switch that unhooked the carriage from the cockpit.

The pilot choked on his scream. “What did you do that for?!” The carriage, equipped with emergency magic, floated down to the ocean and would sit there until someone came to pick it up. The children were safe.

In answer I pointed past the pilot at the co-pilot. “Oh my god!” The pilot exclaimed. “Stay behind me,” He said, “He’ll have to get me first.”

“That’s very sweet of you.” I said, “But he already has.”

I did not expect him to burst into tears. Ignoring my revulsion I leaned forward and put my arm around his shoulder. “So,” I said, handing him a handkerchief from the pocket in the front of my underwear. “What’s your name anyway?”

“Jason,” He sniffed.

There was a metallic chinkas the co-pilot worked out how to release himself from his seat belt with his new fingers.

“So, Jason.” Sweat was running down my face as the co-pilot shiffled toward me. I cast around wildly for a topic to distract us. “Do you like potatoes?”